Like most girls my age, or older, who have been jaded before or stucked in a long term relationship that have obviously stale would say "it's just so tiring to start a relationship all over again, finding a man and have to know him from scratch, go back to square one to know someone new and spend time to strengthen the relationship between the two all over again. It's tiring, and tedious. So most of us, or maybe just me and a couple of girls I know, don't even bother trying and continue to be with the same guy she spent years with without love but only because we're too tired to try. Maybe a girl's age curve plays a part, we don't really have much time after turning 25.
I felt exactly the same way, maybe I'm lazy or plain jaded to try again. I can't remember how many times it had happen that after giving myself another chance to try, it still turns out wrong. I lost count of the number of times I've used the word 'tired', but I really am. Too tired to try again, too tired to put in effort to make something work but it doesn't, too tired to go through another heart break, too tired to fix it and pick myself up again.
Until someone taught or reminded me that being in a new relationship, there shouldn't be any pressure, we don't have to worry about going through the trouble of dating, catching a movie, knowing each other indepth, putting in effort on purpose just to make it work. It should come naturally, effortless and easy. To the extent whereby it's here and you don't even know it. When that happens, you won't find it a chore, you won't feel tired at all.
It gives me hope, and strength. The barrier of defence which I've rebuilt the past year is up again, I don't know if I should let it down or take it away, but it all seems so easy out of a sudden, maybe I don't really need that wall anymore.
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
* mates.
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009
05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009
08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009
09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009
10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009
11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009
12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010
01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010
02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010
03/01/2010 - 04/01/2010
04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010
05/01/2010 - 06/01/2010
06/01/2010 - 07/01/2010
07/01/2010 - 08/01/2010
10/01/2010 - 11/01/2010
11/01/2010 - 12/01/2010
01/01/2011 - 02/01/2011
02/01/2011 - 03/01/2011
20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
* commentators.
Alan
Alex
Alvin
Andrew
Angela
Angie
Anothergal
Audie
Aychuen
Celine
Daphne
Denise
Emelia
Eric
Eugene
Florence
Gabriel
Gena
Grace
Guang
Ian
Iylia
Jane
Jason
Jean
Jennifer
Jingmin
Jingyang
John
Joshua
Joycelyn
Leanne
Leonard Khoo
Leonard
Leroy
Lina
Lynn
Marcus
Meiting
Nur
Rayner
Ron
Ruoci
Samantha
Shawnie
Siwei
Steven
Weiyang
Yihao
Yuping
Yvonne
* archive.